Blog = emotional. That's what I've always thought. That's what I've always done. But I'm different now. I'm older. And my thoughts aren't as dispensable. It's not that I've grown secretive. I've just learned that not all of my deepest feelings must be shared. There's a timing to everything, and I've learned to appreciate the beauty of selective disclosure.
Blogging = introspective. Definitely true. But being introspective can be uncomfortable. Do we always want to know the deepest contours of our thoughts? And if we do, can we always accept them? Finding something to write about means finding something true, raw and relatable. It has to be something that is therapeutic and yet controversial enough to spark conversation and more importantly, thought.
Blogging = novel. The things we say have to be new enough to surprise people and keep them engaged, but they also have to make sense in the context of people's lives. When people read, they want to feel as if they as readers are understood by the writer. The key is not saying something nobody has heard before - it's saying something that people have often pondered and encouraging them to view it in a new way.
Honestly, it's hard for me to blog nowadays, not because I don't enjoy it but because I have changed so much since I last did it. The memories I have that are associated with blogging take refuge in a very different person. I'm no longer that person. I don't wake up in the morning assuming that everyone wants to hear what I have to say. I wake up assuming that the right people either care or will care soon in the future. My pictured audience is narrower and the amount I'm willing to share about myself and my personal feelings has vastly decreased. Over time, by starting up this blog again, I hope I learn to navigate these changes and apply them in a way that works for me. I'm sure I can. I just think it will take a while.
Blogging = worth it. Just like I believe everyone should see a therapist at some point, I believe everyone should blog. Blogging is a way of processing your thoughts and sharing that process with others. It's a public extension of what we do every day. It's a tangible representation of the human existence. We all try to make sense of the world. Most of us try in different way from each other, but the pursuit of understanding is something we all have in common. That's something that's meant to be cherished and shared.
One time, I opened someone's blog and saw that they had written, "I hope you enjoy this blog. If you have any questions or feedback, please don't hesitate to let me know." At the time, I thought that was cute, endearing and even slightly juvenile. The person I was then hardly ever asked for feedback and advice. Though I claimed to be writing for others, it's clear to me now that I was writing for myself. I intend for it now to be a balance. What I'm writing should be therapeutic to me and enlightening, at best, for others.
If you're reading this, I hope that you do care what I have to say. It may not be what you want to hear at first. It may never be what you want to hear. But at least it will be the truth and at least I won't be ashamed to share it with you.
In Love and In Life,
DK
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